How to Lead Without Becoming That Manager (and Ruining Your Company Culture)
It’s true, some managers get promoted for all the wrong reasons. Maybe they were high-performing jerks, smooth talkers at after-work drinks, or just really good at making themselves look important. What they weren’t necessarily good at? Leading people.
And that’s a problem.
Too many leadership promotions are based on hitting financial targets and visibility rather than trustworthiness, empathy, or the ability to create a psychologically safe environment. The result? A parade of toxic managers running teams into the ground while HR scrambles to patch up the damage.
The Cost of Toxicity (and Why I Learned This the Hard Way)
The numbers don’t lie. According to the 2024 Global Culture Report, 68% of employees say they would leave their job due to a toxic work culture, and organisations with a strong culture see four times the revenue growth compared to those with a weak culture. But here’s the kicker: toxic managers are often only addressed when people are quitting in droves or when the company needs to downsize.
I remember working with a founder who was obsessed with “efficiency.” That meant checking every Slack message, interrogating team members for minor mistakes, and scheduling last-minute calls at 10 PM. Unsurprisingly, people started quitting. But instead of taking accountability, the founder blamed “bad hires.” Spoiler: the problem wasn’t the hires.So, how do you avoid becoming that manager while helping to shape a healthier workplace, even when you don’t have HR support to help you?
3 Ways to Avoid Being a Toxic Manager (and Build a Culture People Want to Stay In)
1. Create a Community, Not a Battlefield
Ever worked in a team where no one speaks up, everyone side-eyes each other in meetings, and Slack messages feel like landmines? That’s what happens when a manager fails to create psychological safety.
Your role as a leader isn’t just to manage work; it’s to create an environment where people feel safe to share ideas, raise concerns, and collaborate without fear. A team that trusts each other (and you) will be more productive, creative, and engaged.
I once led a team where a brilliant employee barely spoke up in meetings. When I finally asked them about it, they said, “In my last job, my manager called my ideas ‘stupid’ in front of everyone. I just stopped sharing.” It took months to rebuild their confidence. Don’t be that manager.
How to do it:
Show your team how you communicate, listen actively, ask thoughtful questions, and encourage idea-sharing.
Make it clear that concerns can be raised without retaliation (because if people are scared to speak up, they’ll just leave instead).
Be transparent about goals and expectations; mystery and confusion breed distrust.
2. Ditch the Micromanaging (It’s Not a Good Look)
Nothing screams “I don’t trust you” like hovering over every task your team does. Micromanaging isn’t leadership, it’s a sign of insecurity, poor delegation skills, and a lack of self-awareness.
Early in my career, I worked under a micromanager who would rewrite my emails before I sent them. Every meeting felt like an interrogation, and any decision I made had to be “reviewed.” Eventually, I stopped trying; I figured, why bother? When people feel like they have no autonomy, they disengage fast.
Instead of nitpicking, invest in proper training and support. If someone is struggling, don’t suffocate them, equip them. If your company doesn’t have a solid L&D budget (we’ve all been there), leverage online courses, peer mentorship, or micro-challenges that help employees develop confidence in their skills.
How to do it:
Identify training needs and give employees access to learning resources.
Set clear expectations, then give people space to meet them in their own way.
If something isn’t working, coach, don’t control. Help employees find solutions rather than dictating every step.
3. Own Your Mistakes (Seriously, Just Say “My Bad”)
Nothing fuels workplace toxicity faster than a leader who can’t admit when they’re wrong. You’re human. You’ll mess up. What matters is how you handle it.
Leaders who embrace vulnerability and accountability build trust and respect—both of which are key to a strong company culture. If you make a mistake, acknowledge it, fix it, and move forward. No one expects perfection, but they do expect honesty.
I once had a situation where I made a bad call on a project deadline. Instead of blaming the team for not working fast enough, I owned it: “I underestimated the workload, let’s adjust the timeline.” The shift in team morale was instant. A little humility goes a long way.
How to do it:
If you mess up, say so; it won’t make you weak, but it will make you trustworthy.
Encourage feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable. Let employees tell you how they experience your leadership.
Model the behaviour you want from your team; if you expect accountability from them, show them what it looks like.
Honorable Mention: Drop the Hyper-Critical Feedback
If your idea of “coaching” is nitpicking everything your team does wrong, congratulations—you’re slowly chipping away at their confidence. Public criticism, vague negative feedback, or “that’s just not how I’d do it” comments only serve to alienate and demotivate.
Instead, focus on constructive, specific feedback and recognise achievements regularly. No one thrives in an environment where they only hear about what they’re doing wrong.
The Bottom Line: Culture Starts with You
Whether you’re new to managing or have been leading teams for years, creating a positive culture is your responsibility. Gossiping, micromanaging, dodging accountability, or making employees feel disposable? That’s a fast track to toxicity.
Instead, lead with clarity, empathy, and trust. Your team (and your company’s long-term success) will thank you for it.
Want to know how well you’re fostering a strong team culture? Get in touch, I have insights on how to build a workplace where people want to stay and thrive.
